Motherhood.......
Just a few simple thoughts on my new career path...motherhood. Yes, I will try to get through this post without crying too much. It is so difficult to describe the joy that I have found in being a mother. When you are pregnant you are picturing what your life will be like, how it will change, and imagining loving your child with all of your heart. Never did I imagine it would be like this. While in the hospital, I looked over at our son and said, "He's mine! I'm a mother!" I did have a breakdown and have had many since but it is because of the immense LOVE I have for this guy. I still can't believe it at times. It was definitely weird writing mother on his paperwork in the hospital and at the dr.'s office. Wyatt is my little bundle of joy that I love so very much.
I could not have survived the first week without the help of my own mom. She was already here for the Thanksgiving holiday so it worked out perfectly. She visited me in the hospital, stayed for six nights on the couch, walked Wyatt around so I could go get some sleep between feedings, had little "talks" whether at 3 a.m. or just during the day, helped with the 2 1/2 hour ordeal at the dr.'s office (peeing on the scale, going through 5 diapers, breastfeeding without my pillows), was there when I had to hold him for his heel prick, changed diapers, cooked me tasty meal after meal, helped with the first sponge bath, and just was fun to hang out with. It was so nice to have someone there to bounce things off of...like do you think he is crying because of this or that? She gave me confidence that I was doing such a great job (confidence that I needed). She has a house here so every day she would go for a few hours and run errands, shower, etc. I was so glad that she did this because she got to have a break and it gave me confidence that I could do things on my own. It was fun to spend time with her...and we even got our ritual Paradise Bakery lunch in while she was in town. After being a new mom myself and knowing the love that comes with that, I surely felt the love of my own mom (and still do). She calls every day to check up on me and Wyatt to see how everything is going.
She left on Wednesday night and luckily I was asleep when she was leaving or I don't think I would have let her go. Jason took her to the airport but she called me while she was waiting for her flight. I started crying to her and asked if she was sure she needed to go. She gave me a good pep talk and told me I was doing great! One thing that really stuck with me is when she said, "You have to remember that you and Jason are doing the best you can. Wyatt is doing the best he can too." That's helped me with everything. Yeah, we all really don't know what we are doing but we will get through it together.
Thanks, Mom! We love you and appreciate everything you did for us. Wyatt misses his grandma and her little "tent."
10 comments:
Kate--Welcome to the force lady! You are and will be amazing.
My mom came too early for Syd's birth and had to leave just 2 or 3 days after. There were LOTS of tears when she left. I can totally relate to how you have been feeling.
Trust yourself and remember that you have one of Heavenly Father's Children here on earth. He will bless you with the insights and tools that you need to do your part as Wyatt's mother.
Congratulations!!
I'm sure you are a fabulous mother...you are great at everything you do. I loved the part about what your Mom said about Wyatt doing to best he can do. That made me so emotional for some reason to read that. When my kids are going through a hard phase, I find myself thinking, "I'm doing the very best I can...what is wrong here?" I'm sure I will think of that frequently as it's still bringing tears to my eyes. That little guy is so adorable. It's so unusual to see a baby with so much blond hair as blonds are usually so bald. He's striking!
Honestly, one of the worst things for me is the first couple of doctor's visits. Seriously. At both of my kids' first pediatrician visits, something ran late for the doctor and we ended up staying for so long!!! And when I had Dane I was trying to entertain Tatum in the waiting room for almost an hour!!! Nightmare. Thankfully they eventually stop going so often. :) You look fantastic. I'm really excited to meet Mr. Wyatt. Love ya!
Sounds like you are doing great, Kate. Don't be too hard on yourself. I think the first week or two of Tanner's life were my hardest weeks thus far as a mother. It was just such a new experience to have a child 100% reliant on you. I promise that the hormones will eventually subside and you will feel "normal" again very soon. Just love on your little baby and enjoy the moment. :)
Kate & Jason CONGRATS! I am so happy for you and Kate you look great and I'm sure you're doing a fantastic job! If you ever need a nap just call me! :)
Kate, you make everything look so fun, I'm so excited for you!!! And I just read your first two comments on this blog and they are totally tender and emotional, it's great. I'll chat with you later:)
I remember when my mom left. I cried for hours. I didn't think I could do it without her. But I did! And you are too! It looks like you're settling in well to motherhood. He sure is a cutie! How's he sleeping at night these days?
Kate- the adventure is only beginning. PLEASE feel free to call anytime, even if you are not sure what you are calling for-believe me, we have ALL been through the crazy ups and downs, and can empathize well! I bet you are the dearest mommy!!
I have a lump in my throat and a pang in my chest. The only reason I'm not sobbing is because I'm focusing on typing! You made me miss my own mother! I'm so happy you were able to share this experience with her, and that you realize what a gift the time was. I think that's what's choking me up the most. I know you have lots of ladies around you who can help you out with baby information. I think of Angie managing with 2 at the same time!!! Oh my goodness.
I'm so proud of you. I love looking at the pictures of you with Wyatt. It's just perfect.
You do not get parenting right for a while. That is why the first born always got all of the inheritance. They have to put up with the most crap so they get the most stuff. In the end if you put your best effort in they turn out alright. The difference between a good parent and a bad parent is, a good parent thinks first of their children and a bad parent thinks first of themselves. Good luck.
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